>"I heard it through the grapevine."

>Gossiping is something we Sri Lankans are famed far and wide for (Next to hypocrisy that is). Whether it’s about Aunty Lulu’s daughter who ran away to India or the ‘next-door uncles’ new haircut, we discuss it in great length and detail, add our two cents and of course solve the issue before you can say ‘Eat my shorts’. Whether the subject of discussion or the nature of the hearsay is true or not is naturally, immaterial.

I love listening to the knot of girls at the food court in the mall or the old uncles crowded around the buffet table at the wedding, (yes, men DO gossip. They’re even worse than women at times) because well, the power of gossip amazes me.

And also because its bloody funny.

Take for example the time I had a fall. Long story short, I went to Pinnawela and in an attempt to take that perfect picture of that adorable baby elephant I toppled over and fell. (No… Not into the water) I sprained my leg slightly and tried to keep it under wraps because of course the last thing you want people to know is how you did a ‘Jack and Jill’ and nose-dived straight into the arms of a disapproving Buddhist monk.

As you can guess however it didn’t work out that way. The manner in which I fell was exaggerated to such an extent that even I wasn’t too sure of how it happened anymore.

My mum’s friend made it out to a bunch of my friends that my leg was infected with gangrene and I’d had to have stitches. And so under the impression that I was on my deathbed, they called me frantically only to be told to their disappointment that I was quite alive, thank you very much.

An aunt I speak to on an average of about twice a year called my mum to inquire after her dearest daughter who she heard, had apparently fallen from a bus.

Another of my friends who had left school called me up and asked if it were true that I’d fallen from a tree.

And of course there was the numerous text messages wanting to confirm if I had actually broken my hand or my hip.

But the crowning glory was this- some time afterwards, I was at a party when a friend I hadn’t seen in a while came up to me, hugged me tightly, gazed at me sympathetically as though I was on the brink of extinction and said, ‘Sweetie, how are you? I heard you got bitten by an elephant’

I rest my case.