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Till now, Death is something I’ve associated with old age and disease. The possibility that someone my age could die in an instant never occurred to me.

She was one of my batch mates. Although she left school some where around grade 6 or 7, I’d seen her randomly at parties and concerts but was never on a hi-bye basis with her since I didn’t know her that well.

She died a few days ago.

It was terrible seeing her lying inert in a stuffy funeral parlour surrounded by gaudy flowers, looking remarkably lifelike in a pair of jeans and t-shirt, right down to the leaf shaped earrings she wore and the colourful band around her hair. Her face was swollen and unrecognisable. She’d died riding a motorbike with her boyfriend.

I know it’s highly illogical, but I’m pissed off with her boyfriend. I’m pissed off at the fact that a girl, not yet 18 had to die simply because of a moment of thrill. (Yes, I know that he’ll be living with this guilt for the rest of his life, and yes, I do feel a tiny shred of sympathy for him. But just a bit, mind you.)
I’m pissed off because no parent should ever have to bury his or her offspring. Seeing her parents going about in a daze accepting meaningless words of sympathy from nameless strangers made me realize the extent of their pain. No parent deserves to go through that kind of hell.
I’m pissed because I never really knew her. I could’ve talked to her when I met her here and there. A casual ‘hi’ would never have hurt. But I didn’t.
Who knows we could’ve even been friends.

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4 thoughts on “

  1. >i read the story abt her death in the newspapers, but it gave the impression that the parents used to be cool about her travelling around by bike. they were returning from church along with her bro and sis who were on two different bikes. not that it justifies anything, but it was just a case of the wrong place at the wrong time. i don’t think it’s fair to blame the boyfriend. he has to live with this for the rest of his life. other ppl accusing him of this is not gonna help him, or the dead girl.so u like the goo goo dolls eh?

  2. >True enough. Saw the guy at the funeral though and somehow felt that he was a bit more apprehensive about what was going to happen to him than actually feeling sorry for the girl.But I guess I’m being a tad bit biased.Hell, actually I KNOW I’m biased!And yes.. Love the googoo dolls.John Rzeznik has one of the best voices I’ve ever heard..:)

  3. >a few yrs ago i lost a really really close friend in a car accident where 5 ppl died, and only the driver survived…the 6 in that car were the best of friends. but u forgive, forget and u move on. we’re still close to the guy who drove the car although i know he regrets to this day what happened…he has bigger battles to fight within himself, he doesn’t need the rest of the world blaming him too. the same thing goes for deandra’s bf…yeah, his voice is great. but the band is outstanding. had the luck to catch em live last year on the let love in tour, and that’s one gig i’ll never forget.

  4. >That sucks. I’m really sorry. Can’t even begin to imagine what you would’ve had to go through..I’m starting to realize that blaming him is not the answer. It’s actually quite narrowminded of me. He’s probably having his own shit to deal with right now. And after all, who am I to judge him and say that he didn’t love her enough, based solely on the few minutes I saw him..Like you said, its time to move on..Thanks.. I’ve just gained a new perspective on things.

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