Enough already. Enough with the new methods of procrastinating.
We know that when deadlines start looming up, you frantically start looking for means of distraction. We remember the marbling paper incident last year and your mother is yet to recover from the tie and dye debacle the year before that. But, we have to say that your latest is..well.. rather uncharacteristic compared to your habitual tendencies.
You see, over the past years the only times you’ve voluntarily stepped into the kitchen were to raid the fridge, make a solitary salad and break the occasional plate or two. So you have to admit, we were rather taken aback to see you stir, shake, sauté, knead, mix and bake with a vigour and fervor which would’ve put Martha Stewart to shame. All that’s missing actually is the hair cut and the apron.
We’ve come to the conclusion that the research proposal you’ve been resolutely avoiding must be extraordinarily hard, for you to actually seek refuge in the kitchen.
The manner in which you apply yourself to every activity possible, except to what you’re supposed to do is laudable. We’re reluctantly impressed. Maybe, just maybe if you hadn’t played cricket with the boys, you wouldn’t have been too sleepy to examine the mesmeric aspects of the organizational carbon foot print yesterday. And a little less social activity perhaps? Just a suggestion.
What’s that you said dearie? Oh, you tried to work. Yes.. We saw how you bundled your books impressively, arm yourself with a flask of coffee, announce to the world at large that You Were Going to Study (Note the Caps.) and then promptly fall asleep, nose buried in your meticulously highlighted notes. That isn’t work darling, that’s inactivity.
We hate to nag dear, but enough is enough. We would greatly appreciate it if you would hitch your proverbial socks up and get back to work. Now.
Yours extremely pragmatically,
The Society of Prevention of Procrastination
Ps – And for gods’ sakes, stop staring lovingly at John Mayer’s twitter page. It’s getting a bit disturbing.