Sweetheart, honey bun, munchkin,
Enough already. Enough with the new methods of procrastinating.
We know that when deadlines start looming, you frantically start looking for means of distraction. We remember the marbling paper phase of last year and your mother is yet to recover from the tie and dye debacle the year before that. But, we have to say that your latest is..well.. rather uncharacteristic compared to your habitual tendencies.
Over the past years, the only times you’ve voluntarily stepped into the kitchen were to raid the fridge, make a solitary salad and break the occasional plate or two. So we were rather taken aback to see you stir, shake, sauté, knead, mix and bake with a vigour and fervor which would’ve put Martha Stewart to shame. All that’s missing actually is the hair cut and the apron.
We’ve come to the conclusion that the research proposal you’ve been resolutely avoiding must be extraordinarily hard, for you to seek refuge in the kitchen.
The manner in which you apply yourself to every activity possible, except to what you’re supposed to do is laudable. We’re impressed. Maybe, just maybe if you hadn’t played cricket with the boys, you wouldn’t have been too sleepy to analyse the data you needed to. And a little less social activity perhaps? Just a suggestion.
What’s that you said dearie? Oh, you tried to work. Ah. Yes.. We saw how you bundled your books, arm yourself with a flask of coffee, announce to the world at large that You Were Going to Study (Note the Caps) and then promptly fall asleep, nose buried in your meticulously highlighted notes.
We hate to nag, but enough is enough. We would greatly appreciate it if you would hitch your proverbial socks up and get back to work. Now.
Yours extremely pragmatically,
The Society of Prevention of Procrastination
Ps – Why are you staring lovingly at John Mayer’s twitter page? We have questions.