Instead of popping back home for a quick nap between classes I made the mistake of attending a workshop on resume writing a few weeks ago. Decided to spruce up my resume today and I am now sitting here with what feels like a very woefully inadequate resume and a headache. I am also suddenly feeling very under accomplished and old, which probably doesn’t help the situation but that’s beside the point.
My grouse is with the dissemination of information in resumes. I may be looking at the wrong ones, but all the resumes I’ve seen have been so prosaic and generic. Here’s a list of skills/qualifications/arbitrary stuff that I feel are integral and that I earnestly wish I could add to mine without my prospective employee doubting my sanity.
- Excellent interpersonal skills – with cats.
- Was cast as a giraffe in a kindergarten production of Noah’s ark
- Was cast as the sun in an Avurudu play.
- Did not pursue profitable career in theatre
- Has sold paintings in aid of charity (and some of them were even people I didn’t know!)
- Master Monopoly player
- Agony Aunt and advice dispenser
- Can watch Mulan & Midnight in Paris multiple times
- I was the original hipster
- Armchair wanderer
- Winner of mini-tennis tournament organized by a recognized sports body in Sri Lanka, name of which escapes me (I got a walkover. My opponent didn’t turn up)
- Proficiency in broken Hindi (Where am I? Do you know the way? Where is the toilet? That is not my gun)
- Show me a Ryan Gosling meme and I’ll show you a happy person
- Occasional baby stalker
- Championed team to a nail-biting victory.. in senior spelling bee competition (I’d like to see you try and spell ‘ubiquitous’ when the fate of your team hangs in the balance)
- Knows lyrics to an alarming number of Backstreet Boys songs
- Professional playlist maker (Ignore above. I have stellar taste in music)
- Eternal student