Things that should be on your resume (but aren’t)

Instead of popping back home for a quick nap between classes I made the mistake of attending a workshop on resume writing a few weeks ago. Decided to spruce up my resume today and I am now sitting here with what feels like a very woefully inadequate resume and a headache. I am also suddenly feeling very under accomplished and old, which probably doesn’t help the situation but that’s beside the point.

My grouse is with the dissemination of information in resumes. I may be looking at the wrong ones, but all the resumes I’ve seen have been so prosaic and generic. Here’s a list of skills/qualifications/arbitrary stuff that I feel are integral and that I earnestly wish I could add to mine without my prospective employee doubting my sanity.

  1. Excellent interpersonal skills – with cats.
  2. Was cast as a giraffe in a kindergarten production of Noah’s ark
  3. Was cast as the sun in an Avurudu play.
  4.  Did not pursue profitable career in theatre
  5. Has sold paintings in aid of charity (and some of them were even people I didn’t know!)
  6. Master Monopoly player
  7. Agony Aunt and advice dispenser
  8. Can watch Mulan & Midnight in Paris multiple times
  9. I was the original hipster
  10. Armchair wanderer
  11. Winner of mini-tennis tournament organized by a recognized sports body in Sri Lanka, name of which escapes me (I got a walkover. My opponent didn’t turn up)
  12. Proficiency in broken Hindi (Where am I? Do you know the way? Where is the toilet? That is not my gun)
  13. Show me a Ryan Gosling meme and I’ll show you a happy person
  14. Occasional baby stalker
  15. Championed team to a nail-biting victory.. in senior spelling bee competition (I’d like to see you try and spell ‘ubiquitous’ when the fate of your team hangs in the balance)
  16. Knows lyrics to an alarming number of Backstreet Boys songs
  17. Professional playlist maker (Ignore above. I have stellar taste in music)
  18. Eternal student

 

Your turn.

 

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13 thoughts on “Things that should be on your resume (but aren’t)

  1. Great stuff.

    No.12 Puts you on par with Katrina Kaif and a number of other stars so just see what she has on her resume. Could a career as an actress beckon?

    No. 5 could be rephrased as Quick on the Draw which could land you a role in a Western.

    Who is Ryan Gosling????

  2. 1. can run
    2. i like the beach
    3. pride myself on hating corporate culture
    4. can play cricket, by myself.

    hmmm, this might actually score me some points!

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